Been a while, but ...

... the nonsense has finally pushed me over the edge.

Took a lot, didn't it?

I don't think things are perfect. Great, even. This country, and this world, have a LOT of major issues. No need to go into them here as we all know what they are, right? That isn't what pushed me to jot down a little rant.

Heck, I even 'get' that people are upset and need to vent. I get why they tossed all the Republicans out 2 years ago, and tossed the Democrats from control of the House last month. Things are not as good as they were 10 years ago ... or 20, or 30. We have seen great prosperity under Reagan and Clinton and even did well under Bush, comparatively to how we are doing now. Again, I don't wish to go into what I think the causes are, or who is to blame, or even how this all could be / should be fixed. That isn't what made me sit to write this out.

What I am sick and tired of is the whining. The complaining with no solution offered. Those who feel free to write down anything and everything to make it appear as if we, the US, are in such a drastic state of decline that we cannot recover. That our lives are terrible now, and we were so much better off before. How we, as a generation, ruined it all as it was so perfect when our parents were growing up.

That is a load of horsecrap.

What prompted this need to vent? Another OpEd piece by Fox about how the Democrats have ruined this country? No. An editorial by CNN about how horrible the Republicans are? Nope. A stupid email. Trite little sayings strung together on a Powerpoint presentation (with pictures of modern day Hong Kong, for a great non-sequitor). I've received the same email in different forms for over 10 years. Attributed to comedian Steven Wright, then George Carlin, a Columbine HS student, Robin Williams, ... any number of name changes for the sender to think it would have more impact. It was used against Clinton, Bush, and now Obama. For those who do not think, it substitutes for modern day philosophy. Spoon fed and bite size single servings of bumper sticker philosophy that should be laughed at, yet not only doesn't it go away it was actually used to try to make a point today. By a friend who I admire and is very intelligent, even if prone to outrage for its own sake. Here is the foolish fluff (titled Paradox Of Our Time) which you probably all have received at some point wrapped up as if it is news, or deep philosophy:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete...

It was actually written by Dr. Moorehead, a pastor in Seattle, back in the early 90s. A side note? 17 members of the church claimed the pastor sexually assaulted them, but I suppose the man's character has little to do with what he wrote anyway, right?

The problem is that while unemployment is up, it is not as high as it was in the 80s, let alone in the 30s. Real estate values, stock portfolios, 401ks, retirement accounts, etc.? Not what they were during the DotCom boom and, yes, a lot of people lost a lot of money. But are we really saying people haven't made / aren't making more in RE and the Market than any other time in history? Sure we had to deal with 9-11, have terrorism and wars in the Middle East, have a mountain of debt, etc. but are we losing sight of what we have dealt with in the past? We had planes being hijacked and people killed on them, the Olympics stormed by terrorists, gangsters shooting up cities in turf wars, Pearl Harbor attacked, and have had many more serious wars in our history than those in the Middle East now. We have fought against Communism and extremists many times.

I hear, on one hand, about how my father's generation had it better and easier ...and did things 'right'. I hear how we have ruined it all. Really? Really? They were a great generation and bore a lot on their shoulders. They had it TOUGH. My father was an infant during the Depresssion where Americans lost homes, families, and wandered through the country as beggars. He saw Europe and Asia kill millions and millions of Chinese, Russians, and Jews. He saw a world at war, families wiped out, neighbors lose every make child in a household. We have it tough?!

"...more conveniences, but less time; ..."

Really? Less time? I spend MUCH more time with my kids than my dad did, and so do all my friends and acquaintances. My dad was ALWAYS working.

"...we have more degrees, but less sense; "

Less sense than Hitler, Stalin, or Pol Pot? Less sense to build safer buildings, toys, and cars? Less sense to not let your kids play in the street or to lock up your gun collection? As a group, there have ALWAYS been those with no common sense. We are not worse now, certainly.

"...more knowledge, but less judgment; ..."

Judging by what my own father had to go through, I'm not guessing judgement was in such high quantities then, either.

"... more medicine, but less wellness."

Really? People live far longer, far healthier lives now. We take care of ourselves better and have much higher quality of life in our senior years.

"We drink too much,..."

Yup, but less than we did.

" smoke too much, ..."

Yup, but less than we did.

"...spend too recklessly,..."

Okay, that one is true. ;-)

"... laugh too little, ..."

" I'm not sure the hard working generation prior or the ones before that that had to work long and hard all day, every day laughed a whole lot more. Saying it doesn't make it true.

"...drive too fast,"

Well, I do. But is it worse in general? As soon as cars were invented people started to race them. It is in our nature to 'push'.

"...get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, ..."

Tell that to all those who worked long hours every day... basically everyone prior to the 60s.

"...read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom."

Maybe. But are we reading, collectively, less than they did 50 years ago? 100 years ago? We should read more and watch less TV, but comparatively we are doing better than ever before and have more leisure time to pursue than ever before.

I'll stop going through it line by line as I hope you get my point. People read this fodder and believe it because 'if I read it, it must be true'. Its BS. A very flawed man's opinion who was preaching to his Christian flock about how they need to be better. Now we get it emailed around by every person trying to make a political statement about how bad things are now.

And some of you reading this fall for it.

Our times have challenges and troubles. We need to work at them and look for solutions, and - while we do so - some areas will get worse. But minorities and women have it FAR better than they did in the past. We work less than our dads, spend more time with our families. Education is better, access is better. We have more time to use imaginations, create art, and less time spent doing drudgery. We have safety nets for those who try and fail, and have higher expectations for our children than ever on this planet. We are healthier, wealthier, and more savvy than ever. Basically we have too much free time to feel sorry for ourselves and examine how tough we have it relevant to how easy we want it to be.

So just stop. Think. Stop reading OpEd pieces on news channels and thinking they are news. They aren't. They are opinions. Stop getting your opinions fed to you. Think with your own brain. If you aren't interested in politics, fine. Not everyone is. Its okay to not have an opinion and leave some things to others who research issues. It sounds condescending but isn't meant to be. Why do we feel we have to have opinions on everything, even things we know little about? Please don't spend 15 minutes to hear what some columnist thinks and absorb it as your own. Maybe that columnist truly studied it and believe deeply in what they wrote. It still wouldn't make it a fact or correct. And maybe they are trying to sell a show or magazine or book or newspaper by either being controversial or pandering to their fans.

We all have worries but we always have had them. Ours are minuscule compared to that which our parents grew up with, let alone those before that. Be grateful. Appreciate what you have as you strive to make things better.

But enough with all the whining, okay?

Avanti WineFridge

Just a complete rant that I will take down if the company makes this right...  If not, I'll post that, too, as well as a link to a website I'll set up.

(11/9/08 - NOTE:  They have sent a new unit which - so far - is working well; details below)

Anyway...  

Ordered an Avanti wine fridge mid January 2007 on-line while buying appliances for a kitchen remodel at our house...  It was delivered in February and installed mid March 2007.  

It stopped working while we were on vacation in July 2007.

After calling the seller (to find out they didn't do repairs) and then Avanti (who referred me to a local repair place for warranty work) we called A-Z Appliance.  They came out in August 07, took one look and said they couldn't fix it as it was the electrical panel and 'those always go bad".  They would order parts but 'they are terrible about shipping quickly".

The part was ordered but was back ordered and unavailable..  until December of 07.  A-Z came out and installed the part and left (no one was home).  

Obviously it still didn't work.  

Two weeks later they were back out to check it out.  They said it would have to go back to the shop... but they couldn't take it as the truck was full.  Later that week theyame out and took fridge in for repair.

I finally got them to bring it back in mid- Feb.  Happy to finally have a working wine fridge instead of a gaping hole in the cupboards as we did over the holidays, we were frustrated but finally satisfied customers.

The unit worked 3 months and stopped by the end of May, again.

After numerous calls to A-Z who wasn't sure what they could realistically do any longer, they said unit is defective with an internal leak and cannot be repaired.  A new one would be necessary.  With both A-Z and myself calling Avanti, in early August, Avanti called me to say unit cannot be repaired, per a discussion with the repairshop, and that new one is necessary.  I was to send $10. (?!) to them to do so.

Check sent the next day on 8/7.

Check was cashed by Avanti on 8/13.

By late Sept., I called A-Z and Avanti wondering why I had not heard anything.  Unable to get any answers, leaving many messages, I finally spoke to someone on 10/1 at Avanti who said it had been too long  and that the item was out of warranty!  No fridge was to be sent, despite cashing check, despite acknowledging it cannot be fixed, despite it never working correct and being out of service for all but 6 or 7 months of the 20 months I had it...

Getting past a customer service representative I spoke to Meaghan, ' a manager'.  After telling her the problem she said she would talk to A-Z to have them confirm the issue and would call me back.  I told her that no one ever called back and I spent a lot of time on hold at Avanti... She promised she would call back by the end of the day.

Obviously, she didn't.

I called that eve, the next day, and other times all week.  Always told I was being transferred in, it alwys was put on voice mail and no one ever called back.

Totally frustrated by the worse customer service I have ever heard about, I asked for her 'boss' and was told to speak to David ______ (head of dept., supposedly).  He instructed me to fax/mail a copy of the sticker from the back of the wine cooler to him and a new cooler would be sent out.  I pulled the unit myself, and then both faxed and mailed it.

Having heard nothing by the end of the month again, I called on 10/30 to check the status.  More time on hold to get through, more time on hold after speaking to a rep and giving her the RA number for the issue...  After being put on hold for some time, the rep returned and  told me she could not even locate the RA number for my problem!  

I asked to speak to David and was given - surprise - his voice mail.  I left yet another message.

As of 3pm I have not heard back from anyone...  We'll see.

More to come, I'm sure...

---

I received a call later that day from a customer service representative who asked if i would be home the following week, lol.   She mentioned I would receive a call from a trucking company about delivery as the wine fridge would be sent right out.

Sure enough, I received a call from a trucker the following week who wanted to bring the unit by.  I pulled the current one out, and wrestled it down the stairs myself in time for the new unit to show up that afternoon.   Bringing the new one in and setting it up (they are 54 bottle units, I believe) it appears to be working well.  While I wish the original unit had worked properly in the first place and that it had not taken so long to get the problem resolved, in the end they did do the right thing, thankfully... 

40 Tips For Better Life

From a site I stumbled upon... I have added comments (in green) where I thought appropriate.

40 Tips for Better Life - 2008

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
E - Not sure about this one but I have heard it often...
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
E - Even if its in the car while you drive. Try not turning on the radio for 10 minutes. Or use the last 10 minutes before you fall asleep to think.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
E - Watch those you really want to see when you have time, instead of watching the other garbage and staying up to see late night programs. I may stay up late but never to just watch television.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to __________ today.’
E - Or at least think about what you would like to accomplish or what you would like changed. Then do something about it.
5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation and/or prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
E - More good advice I don't listen to... Yet.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
E - Everyone 'wants' to look good and be fit. But it doesn't come by accident. If you take the easy road and make the easy choices (eating sugary and fatty foods, not exercising) then you will shorten your life and eventually look like someone who eats sugary and fatty foods and doesn't exercise. It isn't rocket science.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
E - Avoid things with saturated fat, Crisco, etc. If it doesn't spoil or break down, why would you want it in your body surrounding your organs and floating through your veins? Does that even sound like a remotely good thing?
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
E - Probably the most important step here. It goes well with Step 40.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
E - Unless, to you, that means boxed Mac N Cheeze ;-)
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the negative blues away.
18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
E - Sure things can always get better or less stressful. But do not let that make you unhappy where you are now.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
E - And "Can I change this so that it won't matter so much?"
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
E - FOrgive even if you can't forget.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. Remember God heals everything.
E - God or Time, whichever. Everyone has bad events befall them. Don't let them continue to drag you down any more than they have to.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
E - Not because someone will know. Not because you feel God is watching. Not because you'll get credit. Do it on principle and to make yourself a better person that you yourself can be proud of.
36. Call your family often.
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for _______. Today I accomplished ____.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change.
E - And, of course, Treat others as you want to be treated. Do not do things you wouldn't want done to you.

16 Rules To Live By

EE - Okay, here is a repeat of someone's repeat  (boy, I am either too, too busy or getting lazy!  lol).

Ladies and Gents,

I found an article today that like most, I cannot take credit for writing.  But like always, the things I tell you on this blog will not be things that I have come up with, but which the human population of the world has come up with.  We all want to live and we are always looking for motivational things in our life.  We want things that inspire us and make us feel better or work harder as a person.  I know everyone believes this and wants this.  That why I bring you these self motivating rules from a source that isn't utilized or looked at often by people or at least I think so.  The article comes from GoDaddy.com and it was written by the owner Bob Parsons.  Bob, is a unique individual with years of experience and talent.  He currently owns a major corporation from the ground up. I do not know him personally, but he looks like a man every man would in some way like to aspire to.  He came out with these rules for his daily life.  After looking over them, I have implemented them in my daily life and strived to achieve what only some people dream of.  I hope you will look at them the same way.

1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone.

I believe that not much happens of any significance when we're in our comfort zone. I hear people say, "But I'm concerned about security." My response to that is simple: "Security is for cadavers."

2. Never give up.

Almost nothing works the first time it's attempted. Just because what you're doing does not seem to be working, doesn't mean it won't work. It just means that it might not work the way you're doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.

3. When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think.

There's an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: "The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."

4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be.

Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of "undefined consequences." My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, "Well, Robert, if it doesn't work, they can't eat you."

5. Focus on what you want to have happen.

Remember that old saying, "As you think, so shall you be."

6. Take things a day at a time.

No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don't look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

7. Always be moving forward.

Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

8. Be quick to decide.

Remember what General George S. Patton said: "A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

9. Measure everything of significance.

I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.

10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate.

If you want to uncover problems you don't know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven't examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you’re doing.

When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

12. Never let anybody push you around.

In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you're doing as anyone else, provided that what you're doing is legal.

13. Never expect life to be fair.

Life isn't fair. You make your own breaks. You'll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

14. Solve your own problems.

You'll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you'll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: "You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others." There's also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: "A wise man keeps his own counsel."

15. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

16. There’s always a reason to smile.

Find it. After all, you're really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: “We’re not here for a long time, we’re here for a good time!”

Looking over these rules, they are more for the entrepreneur than anyone else but due to their over all value, they are very good rules. I would like to hear of any other rules people live by, please speak up.

Sam Stone

20 Websites That Can Change Your Life

I thought this was a great site:  http://www.lyved.com/life/20-websites-that-can-change-your-life/  and wanted to pass it on here:

_____

 20 Websites That Can Change Your Life

This post was sponsored by: www.AptoHosting.com - High Quality Shared Web Hosting! Starting at $6.95 per month.

The internet has changed all of our lives, hopefully in a more positive direction. You can use these sites just for entertainment or you can use them to change your life. Many of them you visit all the time but it’s time to look at them another way and harness their power.

*These are in no particular order.

1 - Facebook - Facebook allows you to reconnect with old and new friends. In the case of Lori Haas, facebook helped Lori reunite with her son that she gave up for adoption when she was just 17. (Full Story)

2 - Myspace - This is the most popular social network on the web, even though it has the most spam. Some absolutely hate myspace, but others have used it to launch their careers. Many singers and musicians have achieved “overnight” success using the network. Like facebook you can connect with friends but myspace makes it easier for networking with people you don’t know and create new business contacts.

3 - Digg - many will agree with this choice, while others will strongly disagree. But Digg can open you up to a whole new realm of news. You can visit the homepage once a day and instantly become up to date on what’s going on in the world. You can use Digg to your advantage, find the latest trends in business or find articles on improving your life.

4 - Kiva - Kiva is a lending site that helps entrepreneurs in developing countries finance their ventures. It doesn’t take much to help someone out. By changing others you can change yourself.

5 - Lifehack.org - Lifehack can help you get things done. This blog has in depth articles on all things that do with productivity.

6 - YouTube - If you want to work in the entertainment industry, YouTube is a great way to get your feet wet and at a very low cost. You have an audience of millions of people at your disposal.

7 - Google - This is an obvious one. I really don’t know how we lived without Google in the early days of the internet.

8 - Twitter - Twitter may someday save lives by people quickly alerting others of dangerous situations to avoid. During the California fires, people used Twitter to let friends know that they were safe. You can also use Twitter as a way to help with your business networking by knowing where your business contacts are at.

9 - eBay - eBay can save you a lot of money but can also bring you immense opportunities. You can easily create an online business that reaches millions of buyers. Many people have very successful million dollar enterprises using ebay.

10 - Ancestry.com - This website can help you piece together your family history. By understanding the past your can change the future. * Many readers have expressed concerns about the business practices of Ancestry.com. Please read comments below and be sure to check any complaints about Ancestry.com or any other business before working with them.*

11 - Zen Habits - This blog is similar to Lifehack.org by offering simple productivity to get the most of your life.

12 - Craigslist - You can find almost anything on Craigslist. It’s a simple site but can simply change your life.

13 - Post Secret - The Post Secret project shows you that we’re all very much the same. It can also show you that others may have worse problems than the ones your facing.

14 - LinkedIn - You can use LinkedIn to network with professionals from all areas of business including Fortune 500 companies.

15 - TED.com - This website is full of various videos from TED conferences and has biographies on some of the greatest thinkers of present time. Presentations from successful people such as Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, Bono, Seth Godin, and Jane Goodall. Most videos are a few minutes long but can empower you for years to come.

16 - Wikipedia - Not everything on Wikipedia is accurate but there is so much information on almost every topic possible. Don’t know about something, just look it up on Wikipedia and within a few minutes you can be informed.

17 - The Fastlane to Millions - This is a relatively new and small forum for those who are or aspire to be entrepreneurs and millionaires. The members are very positive and want to help each other get the most out of life.

18 - Second Life - This virtual world may seem like a virtual waste of time but some people such as Anshe Chung have found opportunities limitless on Second Life. Anshe has become a millionaire by buying and selling virtual real estate.

19 - Quoteland - You can visit Quoteland and read hundreds of quotes that will give you a fresh perspective and change your life in minutes. If you have an open mind.

20 - 43 Things - 43 Things can be a great way to achieve your goals. You can post your dreams and aspirations for all to see. Having that type of pressure can be very positive for you, helping you continue till you reach your goals.

* 21 - Stumble Upon - This has been requested by readers to be added to the list. Stumble Upon can change your life and help you discover so many new websites you would never be able to otherwise.

* 22 - del.icio.us - This site has also been demanded to be added to the list. So since many have found Lyved via del.icio.us, it must be an addition. Maybe someone from del.icio.us can change their life after visiting Lyved.

What sites have been most beneficial to you or changed your life? Leave a comment below.

Enjoy this post? You may also enjoy reading 20 Ways to Change the World. If you enjoy Lyved please subscribe to the RSS feed here.

Success

Suggestions for Success

1. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
2. If there is a question of doing too much or too little, do too much.
   
3. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
4. Give people more than they expect. Do it cheerfully.
5. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
6. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
7. Be generous.
8. Be grateful heart.
9. Persistence. Never give up, never quit.
10. Work at something you enjoy and something that is worthy of your time and talent.
11. Save money. Do not live beyond your means or on credit. Even on a modest salary.
12. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Commit yourself to quality. In yourself, in your relationships, in what you buy and possess.
    
15. Be loyal.
16. Be honest. With others and yourself.
    
17. Be decisive - even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold. Be courageous. As Mark Twain has said, "you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your parents and grandparents proud.
22. Be a self-starter.
23. Strive for greatness, but enjoy it all. Accept, but do not be too easily satisfied.
24. Only you can decide when you are successful and what success is. Do not let others decide that for you.

Random Thoughts On Life...

• Living successfully today requires us to learn from the past but to leave it behind and not dwell on it. 

• Strangers can sometimes love you easier than family because strangers have no history with you that they can hold against you.  But family loves you despite your history and flaws.

• The way out of suffering is through it. Accept that you are suffering and do what you can do end it.  Sometimes only time will help, but many times people find suffering is easier than working hard and making necessary changes in order to end it.

• Suffering should help us grow in compassion and be sensitive towards the suffering of others.

• When someone treats us unkindly we can either learn how to treat others with kindness so as to not make others feel the same way, or to become bitter and make others feel as we have been made to feel.  That choice is ours.

• Roadblocks in life are tests to see how much you want something.  You can go over it, around it, through it... or stop.  If you stop, you did not want it as much as others who persevered past their roadblocks.  They are not there to stop us, but to stop those who do not want things badly enough to persevere.

• In life, we always have two choices about our circumstances; we can change our circumstances or we can change our attitude about our circumstances. Once we change our attitude, our circumstances change naturally.

• Life doesn't always go your way, don't take it personally.

• Everyone is perfect... until compared with any others.

• A need to control things is usually based on the fear of things controlling you.

• What you worry about is actually what controls you.• If you put yourself first, you will have only one person doing so.  If we all put everyone else first, we all will have many people looking out for us.

• Why is it we can all think something is "too good too be true" while we never seem to feel anything is "too bad to be true"?

• The one real weakness we have is underestimating the part our very own thoughts played in creating the circumstances we have in our life today.

• The only reason people don't have their prayers answered is because they quit praying before their prayer request is fulfilled.  And sometimes the prayers are answered differently from the way we would like - what is best for us is not always readily apparent to us.

Favorite Quotes, Part 1

"None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm."
- Henry David Thoreau
________

" Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means. "
- Albert Einstein
________

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say"
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
________

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
________

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts — for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
_______

"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them."
- Robert Frost
_______

"I write when I’m inspired, and I see to it that I’m inspired at nine o’clock every morning."
- Peter De Vries (1910-93)
_______

" Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.."
- Albert Einstein
__________

"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
- Albert Einstein
_____________

" A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it. "
- Rabindranath Tagore
___________

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. "
-Thomas Jefferson
__________

"There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures."
- James Thurber
___________

"If you are a strong man, very good! But do not curse others who are not strong enough for you. …Everyone says, “Woe unto you people!!” Who says, “Woe unto me that I cannot help you?” The people are doing all right to the best of their ability and means and knowledge. Woe unto me that I cannot lift them to where I am!"
- Swami Vivekananda
________

"The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it."
- George Orwell
_________

"If you're going through Hell, keep going."
- Winston Churchill
__________

"I do not resent criticism, even when, for the sake of emphasis, it parts for the time with reality."
- Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
__________

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan
___________

"Great minds discuss ideas
Average minds discuss events
Small minds discuss people."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
__________

"The only people who don't make mistakes at work are those who don't do anything at work."
-Elease Mitchell
_________

“To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”
- Elbert Hubbard
__________

"It is never wise to try to appear to be more clever than you are.
It is sometimes wise to appear slightly less so."
- William Whitelaw (1918-99)
___________

"Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down."
- Charles F. Kettering, Engineer and Inventor
---------

" A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
- Hugh Downs "
_________

"I can’t understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I’m frightened by old ones."
- John Cage
___________

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”
- Martin Luther King
__________

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
- Douglas Adams
___________

"I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else."
- Winston Churchill
____________

"I do not resent criticism, even when, for the sake of emphasis, it parts for the time with reality."
- Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
_____________

And in the vein of self improvement or advice...

Note: This is a lazy repost from the posted link. I thought some of the comments were worth reading. I take no credit and didn't wrote it though. An odd site I 'Stumbled Upon', you can go to it if you want all the author's comments. This was the crux of it and I put it here for your perusal:

In the following, I list 71 things that you can do to be more successful. You choose to do them or not. If you choose not to do these things, then you have no right to complain about your problems; your problems are your fault!

1. Stop watching television.
2. Stop eating fast food.
3. Stop eating pizza and fried foods.
4. Stop driving places that you could easily walk to.
5. Read at least 1 book a month.
6. Take classes in what interests you or your vocation.
7. Work enough to support yourself, and if needed get a new job or second job to make enough to support yourself. Never stick with a job that doesn't pay enough to support yourself no matter how much you work.
8. Pay off your debts and don't go in debt. You can pay off your debts if you avoid needless expenses, such as cable, overpriced clothes, impractical decorations, unhealthy snacks, jewelry, etcetera.
9. Don't buy a car on finance, and don't buy an expensive car if a cheaper one that works is available.
10. Wake up early, and get all your work done as quickly as possible. That includes household chores, as well as your employment.
11. Drink alcohol less or quit.
12. Do drugs less or quit.
13. Don't smoke cigarettes.
14. Don't eat foods with high fructose corn syrup.
15. Don't drink soda.
16. Don't eat sugary foods at all.
17. Don't drink more than 1 glass of juice per day.
18. Stand up straight and have good posture.
19. Look people in the eyes when you talk to them.
20. Smile.
21. Be polite.
22. Keep your promises.
23. Wear a watch, if you can afford it.
24. Eat breakfast.
25. If you eat cereal at any time, choose your cereal based on healthiness not tastiness.
26. Exercise at least 3 days per week.
27. Walk often.
28. Always write with correct spelling and grammar.
29. Never speak worse about a person behind their back than you do to their face. (Feel free to say nicer things about a person behind their back than to their face.)
30. Don't gossip and don't have a big mouth.
31. Never judge other people harsher than you judge yourself.
32. Make New Years resolutions, but make one every day instead of every year.
33. Volunteer.
34. Forgive, but never forget.
35. Don't have skeletons in your closet.
36. Keep as few secrets as reasonably possible.
37. Despite the rule before this one, keep your friends' secrets.
38. Politely tell people that you will not betray your friends' trust, when you are asked about their secrets and such.
39. Volunteering (i.e. activism) is more important than voting. If you can do both, good for you. If you only have time for one, volunteer instead of voting. It makes more of a difference.
40. Privately question your own values.
41. Avoid questioning other people's values, especially in public.
42. Listen more than you talk.
43. Use a journal to count how many calories you consume per day.
44. Use a journal to count how many calories you burn per day.
45. If you want to lose weight, burn slightly more than you consume. If you want to gain weight, consume slightly more than you burn. If you are happy with your weight, try to burn the same amount as you consume.
46. Weigh yourself daily at the same time(s).
47. Write your daily weight down in a journal.
48. Never allow the police to search you, your car, or your belongings if you do not have something to hide.
49. Never tell other people that you think they or something they are doing is immoral or sinful.
50. Keep your moral values and religion to yourself. Use them to direct your own actions.
51. Ask people how they are often and listen to their answer.
52. Laugh at other people's jokes, but not your own.
53. Shower at least once per day.
54. Wash your hands, even if you aren't an employee.
55. Take care of the elderly, which includes spending time with them and talking to them.
56. Avoid going places where you need to be waited on.
57. Wait on yourself wherever possible.
58. Make your friends look good.
59. Avoid lying.
60. Don't pretend to be better than you are. Don't pretend to be more successful, popular, etcetera.
61. Treat other people as if they are better than they are. Treat them as if they are more successful, popular, etcetera.
62. Don't brag about your talents. Instead, surprise people with them when they just happen to be called upon.
63. Sit up straight.
64. Keep your house clean.
65. If you have either of them, keep your car and office clean.
66. Stretch daily. (I do Yoga most mornings.)
67. Dance.
68. Take dancing lessons if you could use improvement.
69. Ask other people (e.g. your friends, your co-workers, your boss, etc.) what their favorite book is, and read it.
70. Ask their favorite song or band, and listen to it.
71. Ask their favorite movie, and watch it.

Extras:

72. Don't be camera shy.
73. When your alarm goes off in the morning (if you use one), don't press snooze.
74. Make a budget and follow it.

Suggestions from visitors:

75. Say "I love you" often to the people you feel this way about.
76. Always turning off lights when leaving a room, unless of course there are others are in the room. For that matter, conserving any unnecessary electricity usage is key to the future of humanity.

Advice I wish I had Heard... Or listened To :-)

(Okay, this is a LONG one. I have the flu and a lot of time now...)

At 46, I am pretty happy with where I am. Happy enough that if I had to live my life over, I don't think I would change anything to be in a different place. Could it be better? Sure. It always can, right? But it could be a lot worse - a lot worse - as well. There are things I have now that I would never change or sacrifice.

Does that mean there has been no pain? Hardly. No trials or tribulations? Absolutely not. But I do think that you learn from mistakes (even when you don't realize it), and if you don't get overwhelmed and stuck dwelling on the mistakes and failures then they ultimately make you a better person. I suppose I should say that they can as we all know people who either couldn't pick themselves up or could not move on after a failure, right? Please don't take this as my being a pollyanna or having rose colored glasses. There are things in my life that didn't necessarily make me a better person but I still wouldn't change because they either provided me with something in my life I wouldn't give up, or put me in a place I am glad I am at. Case in point: seven years ago I was single again after a long (four years) and nasty divorce. Friends thought I would never marry again because of it. It hurt my family, hurt my finances, and definitely hurt my attitude for a while. To this day I am more suspicious, less sure of anything that is supposed to be 'definite', less trusting than I once was. Seems like something I would never do again or something I would change if I could, right? Absolutely not.

It provided me with the best daughter there is, bar none. It put me in a place where I was ready to begin another relationship as I turned forty years old, enabling me to meet, fall in love, and marry my current wife. It allowed me to have another child, a son who would not have been born had I not divorced. So if I had it all to do over, I would do it all the same to get to where I am now. But I was far more slective the second time around!

That being said, there are things I have learned that hopefully enable me to make better choices now, things that would have helped me avoid some mistakes I have made. These are the same things that I find myself telling my 14 year old (that I wish she would pay more attention to). They are the things I will be telling my 3 year old son in the years to come. I am sure some are the same things my parents told me, too. Things that I thought I understood but either didn't really listen to or didn't really grasp as well as I thought I did. Knowing that, I thought I would write those all down and combine them with things I learned along the way.

Well, here they are in no particular order:

* Try and keep a reasonable perspective on things. Do you have to work too much or study too hard some times? Sure. Do you have to sacrifice things that others around you aren't/don't? Sure. Will there be times that some things - major things - change your life (and not always for the better)? Yes. But time moves forward, life goes on, and you will rebound if you want to. Want to. None of it will matter how happy you are in five years.

* Things won't make you happy. People won't make you happy. Events won't make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy. Look, I always want 'more' and am rarely satisfied. But I am happy where I am. Would I like a bigger house? Sure. I would be happy in a smaller house though, too.

* While you don't need to only spend money on budgeted items, have a budget. You hear all the stories about how a storm, or fire, or business closing ruined someone financially. Realistically? I find that you are in more trouble from getting into credit debt than anything else. You live over your head and then can't catch up. For example, if you make $40,000 a year and spend it all plus charge another $5000, you lived on $45,000, right? Even if you don't get used to living that way (and most do) you conceivably have to live the next year on $35,000 (a $10,000 difference in lifestyle) to catch up. That's like taking a paycut of 20%. If you can't live on what you make, how are you going to take a 20% paycut ext year? Learn to live on your pay. Credit cards are so you don't have to carry cash, or so you can pay for emergency unexpected events like a car repair. They are not to finance vacations you haven't been able to save for, or to buy expensive clothing with. On-line shopping, ATMs, impulse purchases, keeping up with the Joneses, dining out a lot... all can drain your money faster than you realize. Have an overall budget, check it occasionally, and pull back if you find that you are going over. Have a Savings Account you will not touch. Not even for emergencies if you can save or use other money you have. Also have a Savings Account you will use to save up for big items you want to buy. You'll see how you can get there by saving. And sometimes, after you save instead of using a credit card, the little time will make you realize that you actually don't really want it. If you still do, you have the money to buy it. Think about each purchase. Stay away from purchases when you feel down and need a 'pick me up'.

* Stay in shape and stay active. Do not take it for granted. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was extremely active and in shape. Better than most, probably. I took martial arts, ran, biked to work, worked out at a gym once or twice a day, etc. Then I got married... I put myself into my career... I had a child... I went through a draining divorce... I still hit 40 in better shape than a lot of my peers, but I hadn't seriously worked out in many years. A month here, a three month membership there... I started working out a bit more after the divorce, found out I was still pretty flexible, still pretty strong, etc. I knew I had a few pounds to lose but I thought that was about it. I did not realize that age does catch up to you. Yes, even you. Again in a new relationship, getting married, having another child... any thoughts of working out were pushed to 'later'. At 45, my doctor was still 'impressed' enough with my blood tests, etc. that he told me "If you are in this shape at 45 there is no reason you can't be in this shape at sixty'. Almost immediately after that I started getting some foot pain (plantar faciitis - basically separated the tendons in my heel). Not dealing with it and suffering through the pain rather than address it, it worsened with scar tissue and it became impossible to walk pain free. I found out it was usually due to tightness in the legs (something I never had as I always had been flexible from all the stretching I did in my twenties}. I was actually surprised to find that I couldn't even touch my toes! By about six inches! The limp threw something off in my back and now I have been dealing with back pain, too. Something I had never had before. Being much less active now, because of the leg and back, I have put a few pounds on instead of taking them off as I had hoped I would be doing. Lesson learned: get in shape and stay in shape. Its easier than trying to get back into shape!

* Without getting too strict on 'health foods, let me say simply: white sugar and white flour are bad for you. High fructose corn syrup is terrible for you. Shortening is terrible for you. Think about it. If businesses chemically change something so it won't break down in nature, does it sound like a good thing to put it in your body? I am not a vegetarian or only eat all natural foods. I eat an occasional fast food hamburger when on the road in a rush, and have a sweet tooth. But I eat fast foods as little as possible and eat dessert less than I would like. I don't drink soda anymore. It is probably why I only have a few pounds to lose at 46 when some of my peers have many more, or high blood pressure, etc. There is a reason why diabetes and obesity is rising in America along with the use of high fructose corn syrup.

* That brings up another vice: smoking. I never was a cigarette smoker as I saw my dad battle with it, ultimately leading to the heart attack that claimed his life at only fifty years old. No cancer, 'just' a heart attack. I understand the appeal to some extent. I do like an occasional cigar and like the taste. I like having the 'prop' when you are socializing. I like the ritual of a cigar, and how smoking is an activity that forces you to slow down and chill a bit. But only a few things can happen when you start cigarettes: 1- you don't like it and quit, 2- you like it and have to quit anyway, 3 - or you like it and can't / don't quit. As it is a guarantee that it is bad for your lungs and heart, which of those options is a good one? Don't start and you won't have to deal with them. You will be glad you avoided it by your late twenties, guaranteed.

* Learn the basics of compounding interest and start putting money aside for retirement when you are just starting out. Sure it seems so far off, but you will get there eventually and be glad you did plan for it. What if someone told you that when you retire they would give you $75 dollars for every dollar you put aside when you were twenty years old? You would find some cash, right? If you found out that instead of that $20,000 car you bought that would be worth almost nothing in five years, you put the same $20,000 away in a bank you would have $1,500,000? It is highly unlikely you will ever save a million and a half dollars while in your forties and fifties. Bt if you start early enough... and that is the point. That little bit of interest you get each year is like a little snow on a snowball rolling down a mountain. Or look at it as the the principle of 'she told two friends, and they told two friends, and they told two friends..." . The earlier you start, the more you have - BY FAR. At the end, each extra year is ENORMOUS. After a while the money you put in is considerably dwarfed by the interest... and that continues to expand exponentially. After thirty five or forty years (aprox.), the money grows at an enormous pace. But it needs those years. If you are planning to retire at 65, you have to start putting money away in your early twenties. Sure, it never hurts to put money away (well, it always hurts a bit) and if you can't start when you are 22 don't say 'forget it' then. But $20,000 put away every year when you are in your forties and fifties won't amount to as much as if you put $5000 or $10,000 a year away starting at 22. I didn't do this and am now scrambling to save for when I retire, not wanting to take a substantial cost of living hit. I know friends who will retire - comfortably - on small investments they sacrificed for in their twenties.

* Do without a car as long as you can. Silly, huh? Doesn't everyone want a car at sixteen, the urge to hit the open road? Sure. I did. I was also the one who ended up driving friends all over that didn't have cars. I felt bad for them then. Looking back, I was working two jobs each vacation and summer to afford it while they travelled and hung out at the beach. I worked during the school year while they had time to study or relax. The smart ones who had cars when they were in school didn't spend much money on them and spent more on school and less time working than studying. I see it now, even if I couldn't then. It just isn't worth it. Definitely go your first year of college without one. You'll see more and experience more of campus life without one, too.

* Speaking of cars, when its time to get a car, don't buy used cars them for color, style, or radios. It goes without saying - or should - but get one that won't cost a lot of money to upkeep because you get sucked in by a nice paint job! I spent a lot of money in my late teens and in college trying to make an older used car be something special... money it was not easy for me to get when I was seventeen or twenty and a student. That does not mean you have to buy the 'ugly brown station wagon with low miles', or should buy new. It means you should look for something you like, but only buy if it will run relatively repair free. If not, move on and set your sights a bit lower on the model.

* Everyone needs time alone at times. Enjoy it. Recharge your batteries and don't feel guilty about it.

* Make your friends your family and your family your friends. Kiss them. If you can't kiss them, hug them. And no matter what, say 'I love you.' to them. Even if you have to laugh it off as corny, say it. There will be a time when you can't any longer and you don't get to pick when that is.

* It isn't the person who dies with the most toys that wins, as we have all seen on bumper stickers and the shirts. It's the guy who dies with the most true friends. Gather them around you, celebrate and enjoy them. You may think that not getting together with friends in order to work late would be a good thing because you'll be able to buy that television you always wanted. But while I see many people cry when a friend dies, I have yet to see someone tear up when a tv breaks. Realize what is important.

* That being said, don't use that as an excuse not to work hard. Hard work is good for you, gives you a sense of accomplishment, and leads to good things in life. Relish and enjoy it.

* And that leads to: Do What You Like, Like What You Do. Study hard when young and work hard at school so that you will be able to do something you like for a profession. You will spend too many hours doing it to hate it. The extra hour a day studying will be well worth it. You don't want to have to spend eight hours a day doing something you don't like (for the rest of your life!) because you can't get the job you really want, right? Or regret - for the next fifty years of working for people not as bright as you - that you didn't get better grades because you socialized too much. Study hard now and be in a position to do what you enjoy for the rest of your life.

* Never pick on people. Don't try to build yourself up by tearing others down. It does not make you stand taller. Standing idly by while others pick on them is no different. More people have things done to them unjustly because everyone stays quiet, not because there are so many people who are terrible. Don't be one of the sheep. Don't be too afraid that someone won't like you if you stand up for someone else. Even when others don't join in in standing up for someone (even if they tease you about it), they all will respect you. You don't have to hang out with everyone, or even like everyone. But never pick on them. You will respect yourself - then and in the future - when you look back on the times you stood up for someone. You will never look back at yourself favorably for the times you made people feel bad.

* Live life, don't watch it. Read. Travel. Experience. Take a course. Learn something. Be active. Don't sit and watch someone on television have a life, or sit and play video games pretending that you are doing something.

* Treasure your time with those you love. I lost my dad when he was seemingly healthy. Suddenly and while on vacation. You don't get a warning. Sometimes things just change - suddenly - and you lose someone. A heart attack, an accident, whatever. Do not take the time with them for granted.

* When you have kids, enjoy them. Sure, discipline them, yell at them when you have too, etc. but continue to enjoy them. I have loved every moment of my time with my fourteen year old and am in a small panic that she will be off to college and then off to life in just four years. It seems like only yesterday that she was ten, and in that same span our conversations (minimal as they can be now at fourteen) will no longer be a daily part of my life. She is doing what she should be doing, pulling away, so she can live one day on her own. I realize that in my head. But my heart will miss her not being in my house every day from when she leaves to when I die. Enjoy it all now, as much as possible. As crazy as it is in this house with a three year old boy, as overwhelming as it can get, I am trying to enjoy it all.

* Your first obligation when you decide to have kids is them. You are no longer first in your own life. Until you are ready to sacrifice and put them first, don't have them. Once you do? Be their parent first and pal second. Too many people try to be their kid's buddy and then find it difficult to be a parent. Love them and they will love you, even when they don't like you.

* You know how you take pictures and think you'll put them in an album 'later'? Or don't write something down because you know you'll remember? How could you forget, right? Trust me on this. Write the stories down and put the pictures in the album (on-line is fine for both) as you will forget. And you will forget more as you get older. And you will forget things you don't even realize you forgot, and don't miss - until someone reminds you of something and you wish you remembered it better. I'd tell you of all the important things my dad told me or things I learned from my kids and give specifics, but I forgot them.

* No one wants to hear your complaints. Sorry to tell you, but while your spouse and parents are totally sympathetic to your issues, even they don't really look forward to hearing your complaints. And no one else remotely does. Ask for help when you need it, by all means. Get something of your chest - quickly - if you have to. But don't be a Drama Queen or King and don't think your problems are more important than anyone else's. We all have them, right? How miserable would we be if we all whined about them to everyone that would listen.

* Don't complain, fix the problem or move on if you can't.

* Keep learning. Even if you don't like school and can't wait to get out, find a way to learn something. Cooking. How to play basketball better. New computer programs. And teach others. Learning keeps your mind growing and fresh and teaching others really makes your mind work on it by thinking about it, talking about it, seeing what they are doing, and listening to them all at once. It really exercises your brain.

* No good ever comes from having 'one last drink'. And rarely are any memories made while 'doing shots' the memories you look back fondly on.

* Drugs. Same as cigarettes. You will either not like them or like them, right? If you don't like them, you'll wish you hadn't used them. If you like them you will spend money on them that could have gone to something else, risk embarrassment for yourself (and your family) in taking them, be breaking the law while you buy and use them (risking a permanent record and total change of career and life), and possibly be hooked. Are any of those worth it? Either way you will regret using them. So don't start. That way you don't have to quit.

* Don't give in to peer pressure. Apply it.

* While on that subject, and I have no scientific evidence to prove this, different liquors will affect you differently. I realize there is the same amount of alcohol in one beer than there is in a glass of wine than there is in a shot. And sure, you are more likely to drink more if you are doing shots than drinking wine. But that doesn't explain why a shot of vodka makes you feel one way, a shot of tequila or Jack Daniels another. Know what you can drink, know what your limits are, and keep an eye on your friends who have shown they don't know theirs. That goes for when you are twenty one or forty five.

* You know all those stories you tell at parties or in bars about 'that guy' that did this or that? You don't want to be 'that guy' in everyone else's stories. Think about that while you are out with your friends. Everyone has friends who still bring up stories about something stupid they did twenty years ago. Minimize those stories as you grow up.

* Everyone makes mistakes. You will make the most when you are in your teens and early twenties as you have knowledge but little life experience. Just don't make mistakes that carry forward. If you dent your car, you will pay a penalty. If you hurt someone else, you will be changed forever. If you get drunk and sick, you will be embarrassed and feel terrible. If you get arrested for drugs, you will lose jobs for the rest of your life. Think before you do something. Not just on if it can go bad. Not just on what would happen. Think also on how it will affect you for the rest of your life if it goes bad.

* All those things you want to do but won't be finished for five years? Start them as soon as you can. Sure, you'll start taking guitar lessons or karate classes thinking "This will take me five years before I'm any good!". Absolutely you'll start learning a language thinking "It'll be years before this is usable!" But in five years you can either have those skills or still not have them. Your choice.

Lastly, take all advice with a grain of salt and a dose of suspicion. ;-)